woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
The struggles of a small town man whore
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
Randomize
