So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
Drunk you assumed that me saying I thought squirrels were cute meant for you to trap one in my car by luring it in with ham. You're going to hell for this.
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
You need a sexual gate keeper
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
Randomize
