just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
I forgot to tell you. Your neighbor was walking his tiny dog and saw me crawl out of my jeep drunk vomiting and holding onto my bumper. He just said: morning! all friendly.
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
...
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
Randomize
