last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
Randomize
