Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
omg how embarrassing to not hear the delivery person knocking because you're singing "where are you Pizza" to the tune of "where are you christmas" too loudly
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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