Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
The best thing happened. Some guy was butchering Conway Twitty at karoke and the power went off in the whole bar. And someone shouted "you pissed jesus off when you messed with conway!"
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
Randomize
