i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
Randomize
