The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
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