This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
I just caught my mom fingering herself in the bathroom...Im moving out.
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
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