i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
Randomize
