He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
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