Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
rest in peace liver.
It was nice having you occupy space in my body that could be holding beer n chicken.
that's going in my livers obituary.
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
DRUNK COOKIES
Are you drunk or are the cookies drunk or are these cookies that get you drunk?
Yes
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