wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
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