Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
She has the best kind of daddy issues
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
Randomize
