Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
Randomize
