If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
Randomize
