If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
Where is the baby squirrel I found last night?! I've looked all morning I can't find Morris anywhere did someone take him?? ðŸ˜ðŸ˜
Honey, I kept trying to tell you it was just a pine cone.
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