You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
he just stuck his car key in my belly button, made car starting noises and pretended like i was revving my engine?
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
Nah, just stick him in a closet with some cheetos, a blunt and soda. The darkness will calm him down until Mallory can be located.
Randomize
