Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
Jesus fuck. I just hit on him in front of the whole fire department. They hit the sirens and told us to get a room. FML. I can never go back to that fire station again...
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
Randomize
