i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
Randomize
