No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
THE MIME IS MIMING TO BUST A MOVE KARAOKE. ALL MIME-RELATED EVENTS DESERVE CAPS LOCK
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
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