I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
Dude, this chick just tossed my salad hard. All that I could picture was a dog trying to get the last of the peanut butter out of the jar of Jiff and trying not to think of how grotesque my last dump was.
Then she tried to kiss me and I wouldn't and she got pissed off and went to sleep. Then about an hour later, her kid called her. She went home and on the way out I told her to wash her mouth before she kissed her kid good night. Weird night..
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
i wanna have a kid now so by the time he's 20 ill only be 42 and assuming im already divorced we can pick up girls together
Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
Randomize
