someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
I guess she found the pillow case full of vomit I hid last night: "Oh my God. Oh my God. In my fucking FRIDGE?! Really? Hope your dick falls off there's puke all over my food. Fucking die."
Randomize
