that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
Can you repeat that, but with context?
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
Randomize
