i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
Randomize
