My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
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