sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
Since you didn't call me back last night, I can only assume that in 9 months you're going to have a child that I'm going to refer to as, "Daddy's little mistake in Miami."
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
Randomize
