When my kids ask how I lost my virginity Im going to have to tell them of a mythical thing called "Myspace" and how strangers could lure you into their "den of love" thanks to clever quotes and graphics
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
Anywho, an ostrich attacked me today. Fucking useless pieces of shit birds.
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
I forgot wine drunk hurts
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
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