Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
Randomize
