You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
She got called into work early but she left me a note that had directions to her roommates stash of weed on top of a two bacon and egg mcmuffins. I think I win.
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
He updated Facebook... "Got a new phone today." WHAT ABOUT THE FUCKING KID YOU HAD?!
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
Randomize
