one two three fourrrrnication!
So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
My fucking roommate unpluged my alarm; I pissed on his clean clothes.
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
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