im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
Reason #84 I'm on my way to becoming a crazy cat lady: I called the police last night because I heard a noise and the cats were acting funny like they were trying to tell me something. The 3rd time the dispatcher repeated "the cats are acting funny?" I yelled and told her to have an officer ask the cats what happened.
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
Randomize
