I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
Dude, she set my Tinder preference to men, set the radius to 100 miles, and used up all of my right swipes. I think she's mad.
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
Randomize
