i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
Best friends brother. Beat that.
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
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