Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
im pretty sure this vending machine only exists when im drunk
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
Randomize
