I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
Randomize
