those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
Randomize
