all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He said he was trying to live vicariously through me. I didn't have the heart to tell him that meant he was vicariously fucking his best friend.
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
Randomize