he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
Randomize
