It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
Best friends brother. Beat that.
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
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