And now his mom knows I was dipping my pen in company ink
these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
No one should have to go to work between Christmas and New Years, but here I am twirling in my office chair and putting Jack in my coffee like I’m back in college studying for finals.
Randomize
