was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
You text me last night that you invented a new food. Cheese-less grilled cheese. Congrats, you made toast.
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
Last night the nurse at the ER told me that she wished all her drunk patients were like me. Then she commented on my socks...
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
You want further proof that God hates me? Okay. We're on the way to the ER. A homeless man stabbed me at the gas station.
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
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