it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
Who wears a wallet chain?!
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
You drew a lightning bolt on your eye and stomach in eye liner and made me sing Poker face with you in harmonies. I never knew you were still a music major when you were drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
I'm calling into work tomorrow for day drinking and kitten shopping. Totally legitimate.
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
Randomize