Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
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