A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
Why did my little sister call me from your phone this morning?
Things like this can't be explained over text man
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
Randomize
