you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize
