that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
One of my residents in my hall just found my positive pregnancy test from last year I hid behind the fridge, I'm just going to tell them it was for a science project.
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
my nose is crying tears of wow.
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
Randomize
