She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
THERE IS WEED IN MY OVEN. HOW AM I EVER SUPPOSED TO MAKE CHICKEN PARMESAN WITH WEED IN MY OVEN.
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
Randomize
