grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
When I left you, you were walking into a room with a half naked girl. When I returned 2 minutes later, you were locked out of the room naked and she was screaming obscenities from inside. How do you manage to make every girl hat you?
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
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