do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
forgot a fork. i am eating fettucini alfredo with a comb that i rinsed off the the bathroom sink. eating alone in my car. life doesn't get any sadder than this
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
Randomize
