at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
That awkward moment when you're drunk enough to crave cocaine, but you're sober enough to know it's only Tuesday.
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Randomize
