return my video game
Plan B is the new Plan A
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
Somehow I just turned an entire McDonald's bag upside down in my car and not a single fry fell out. The Lord really does work in mysterious ways.
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