Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
I wish the iPhone would register texts from 11:59 as "Last Year" instead of "Yesterday."
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
Don't worry, your car is safe with me. I am throwing watermelons out of it at mailboxes and hipster kids.
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Do you recall asking me to zip line through your wedding dressed as a bleeding angel?
Randomize
