Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
smell my finger.
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.
haha i know
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
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