she looked like the before picture.
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
If you had a good reason for throwing the toaster at the wall, now's a good time to tell someone. My parents are on their way back and you know my dad and his pop tarts.
Randomize
