So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
Guess who's still drunk but on time to court to represent a DUI?
You are my hero
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
I'm going to go ahead and refrain from sexting you in an airport that is currently at a "level orange" security threat.
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
Randomize
