hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
If I don't singlehandedly make your gf realize she needs to straighten the fuck up or ruin your relationship before I leave I have failed you as a friend.
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
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