My parents took my cat for a ride in the car. Second weekend in a row. They think its fun. Dear God
You don't have asthma, your pregnant
i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
I'm in this weird masturbatory haze making onion rings. If you want to come over we can eat these suckers and play TF2.
Why don't we hang out more often?
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
Randomize
