Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
and I'm going to name my autobiography "blow jobs with enthusiasm are the best"
I'm naming my autobiography "Reasons Not to Date Girls From Texas."
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
Randomize
